Personal History

So a lot of people are asking about my background (yes, someone has actually had PIs stalking me!).  I'd be happy to tell you, but I'm not so sure about it myself.  There are lots of rumors about my birth and lineage flying around...up there (glances up)...

Apparently, I could either be the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night, the daughter of Nyx and Erebos, the god of darkness, the daughter of Nyx and Zeus, or even the daughter of Zeus and Hera and Ares' twin (although, Ares prefers that I am the daughter of Nyx, and only Nyx; he doesn't want to be related to me <pout>)!  Imagine that!

If I really am the daughter of Nyx, that would mean that I'm related to:

• the Fates 
• Nemesis
• Apate (Deceit)
• Philotes (Friendship)
• Geras (Old Age)  

That's all I have about my lineage!  But, I can give some introductions to my kids.

I have a lot of children, known as the Kakodaimones ("evil spirits").  My adorable children are:

• Ponos (Toil)
• Lethe (Forgetfulness)
• Limos (Starvation)
• the Algae (Pains)
• the Hysiminai (Fights) 
• the Makhai (Battles)
• the Phonoi (Murders)
• the Androktasiai (Man-slaughters)
• the Neikea (Quarrels)
• the Psuedo-Logoi (Lies)
• the Amphilogiai (Disputes)
• Dysnomia (Lawlessness)
• Ate (Ruin)
• Horkos (Oath)

A fun fact about my lovely progeny is that these children were officially released into the world when Pandora (idiot girl) opened her box.

So, hoping that this is enough, I'll be leaving you now!  If you don't think this information is sufficient, you're welcome to try and stalk me.  Let me rephrase that...If you don't like how I was born, I'll make sure you wish you weren't born.

P.S.  I googled all of this, since none of the other gods will give me a straight answer.  Here are my sources listed...

sabrina. "Eris, Greek Goddess of Strife".  Goddess a Day - My quest for the ten thousand names of the Goddess. 29 June 2010. WordPress. 29 June 2010. Web. 21 October 2012.   

http://www.goddessaday.com/greek/eris

Gill, N.S. "Myth Monday - The Family of Eris". Ask.com. 2 August 2010. New York Times. 2 August 2010. Web. 21 October 2012 

http://ancienthistory.about.com/b/2010/08/02/myth-monday-the-family-of-eris.htm

Why This?

You all are probably curious as to why I decided to do this kind of "online web-store".  Well, the truth is, it's because I want to be known for doing something (semi-)good, and I want to be kept "in the loop".  From what you probably heard about me from the Trojan War, I'm left out of a lot of fun stuff.  Well, not this time!  This time, my online store will be bigger and better than any other store those other gods can make!  Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!

A plus side to this is that not only will there be more funny fight scenes, but I might also get more ACTUAL followers besides those wimpy little puppies in Discordianism.  But Discordianism is okay, because I get my own actual book!  They call it, "The Book of Eris".  How unoriginal, but it's the best I got.

   

Welcome!

Hello (person of interest) !

I am Eris, goddess of (good) chaos, discord, and strife.  My hobby is causing trouble and disputes; one of my best masterpieces is the Trojan War.  Did you like it?  I did!  It was really funny how all the humans went dying all over themselves because Helen of Sparta was abducted by that boy Paris!  That's what you get when you mess with Eris!  Lots of blood and gore.

Anyway, if you're a fan of my work, this is the place for you!  Here, I have decided to write an advice column on how to make good pranks, and I have decided to loan out some of my Apples of Discord (for a hefty price, of course).

P.S. ANY AND ALL CONSEQUENCES THAT OCCUR ARE YOUR FAULT.  I HAVE TESTED THESE PRANKS TO BE TRUE.  IF YOU FAIL, THEN IT IS EITHER BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO CARELESS, OR YOUR PREPARATIONS WERE NOT DONE CORRECTLY!!!